3 little pigs

first off, my son will more than likely flunk out of kindergarten because he thinks pigs say “wee, wee, wee” instead of oink. no matter how many times you tell him they say oink, he will still tell you “wee, wee!” if you ask what pigs say.

tonight j did story time w/ baby j. instead of reading one like we do every night, j decided to tell him one from memory. it was glaringly obvious that daddy was a kid looooooong ago because he didn’t remember how the story went at.all. a few times baby j made fake snoring noises, but daddy couldn’t take a hint. the little guy has got to be a genius. sure, he can’t pee in the potty consistently but he will let you know when he is bored.

the story went something like this (only way more drawn out): three little pigs had houses of straw, sticks, and bricks. and the wolf didn’t get to eat any of the pigs. as a matter of a fact the whole reason he went after the pigs is because he wanted “a pulled pork BBQ sandwich” and they all just ran into the last brick house. he was really mad when he got there because “he had all this potato salad and no main course and you cant just eat a side for dinner” when he got to the brick house, the wolf stood outside and “huffed and puffed and huffed and puffed and huffed some more until he passed out from lack of oxygen and the paramedics had to come, put on an oxygen mask, and take him to the hospital. when we woke up he had a change of heart and realized that all his life he was meant to be a vegetarian. the end”. well, that’s one way to tell it.

the last time j made up a story it was an original, not an adaptation, and it went on for like 10 minutes until he realized he had way to many plot-lines to wrap up, so he just turned on the tv.

in other news, I took j to a play date a gymboree today. he screamed his wild banchy scream over and over and over. I was praying so hard that he wouldn’t scream titttttttyyyyyy since I’d never met these people before and wasn’t really interested in earning a pop quiz from CPS(incidentally, he is saying “te de” like “ta da” but it comes out titty. niiiicccceee). he didn’t scream titty this time thankfully. next time there is just no telling. several children’s parents will probably be billing me for hearing tests though. that could get expensive.

Clara had her 4 month checkup last Friday. she is extremely tall and above average on the chunk-o-meter with a wittle bitty peanut head. because I’m mother of the year I didnt know she was getting shots at this appointment. she did so great though. she went “eeeeeeeeeeeehhh” and it was over. not a tear. not a scream. nothing. brother got his flu shot and did surprisingly well too. no one had a meltdown on the scales. no one did anything remotely embarrassing. it was glorious and unexpected, but not nearly as funny to write about as if j had thrown a naked tantrum. oh wait, that already happened.

until we meet again.