super creep

I’m back, now, ya here?

spent the past week in pennsylvania with J, J, and C. I nearly had an out and out anxiety attack prepping for the trip. this was C’s first flying experience and I’m not sure if you’ve ever tried to keep a toddler still and in a seat for 3 hours, but it’s best accomplished with a horse tranquilizer and a straight jacket. I chose to take the non-Casey Anthony route and I packed approximately 50 packages of fruit snacks, 6 rice krispy treats, 20 suckers, and every other odd and end sugar product I had in the house. my logic is that if their mouthes are full then they can’t scream or if they do at least it’s muffled.

the whole thing had me so worked up in a tizzy it’s amazing I didn’t end up in a padded room in a straight jacket all my own. I am serious as serious can be about this: it was the easiest day of travel (up to PA) I have EVER had. the kids were mostly cooperative, the flights were on time, the baggage arrived…it was joyous.

little j had a lot of firsts this week: he camped “out” for the first time, went to the stoneboro fair for the first time, fished and I can’t even remember what all else. also, he learned the phrase “upside down!” he flips himself upside down on the regular now and screams it. it’s still cute for a couple more days at least.

the purpose of this trip was so that middle j could take little j to “The Great Stoneboro Fair”. j’s grandpa went for 81 consecutive years. j has missed a few due to field exercises and plane ticket prices that were well in the $1000s + plasma donations and the promise of our first born. It was important to j that we go this year. he says it’s so that he could show his kids the fair. I think it’s part that and part that he wanted to show the fair his kids.

the fair is like a community reunion. everyone comes out to enjoy “firemen fries”, “hot sausage sandwiches from ‘the Italians’ or ‘the lions’ “, good conversation, and great company.

and this is where the super creep comes in. round 1. ding. when I get tired (or angry or emotional) my filter between my brain and my mouth malfunctions or takes a smoke break or something. while at the fair, we ran across one of jerry’s best friends. he has recently gotten engaged. Jerry went to introduce me, but I’d already met her and I began to recap the time. not like “oh, I met you here in 2007”. more like… “I met you here the first time I came to the fair. I think it was 2007 and we met up on the hill *points to said hill* and you were wearing a white shirt and jeans and boots w/ those little tassel things on the toe and your hair was braided and you didn’t have the highlights in your hair and it was night” and it was shut the eff up, creeper. she was so gracious just to smile and nod but im pretty sure she really wanted to pivot on her heel and run to the nearest fair booth that sold weaponry to arm herself against creepy mc creeperson over here. let’s just say I finished my lyrical interpretation of “when we met” and backed away slowly so as not to startle my prey.

on the flight back home, i was given an interlude to my creeping. I sat next to the sweetest gal who had never flown before. I tried to explain what was happening with the planes bumps and dings and she just kept saying “k” “k” “k” “k” which in case you didn’t know is Latin for “I’m praying to sweet 8lb baby Jesus and you are interrupting”. lucky for her, this was the worst flight I’ve ever had… on record. Denver airport decided to straight up shut down. like willy wonka style “no one goes in and no one goes out” we got to circle aimlessly for God knows how long (he does, he does know…I however didn’t check my watch) until the pilot decided that we needed to refuel. where better to refuel for our trip than grand junction? it’s practically in Mormon country and not anywhere near Denver relatively speaking. it’s nearer to Denver than say… Seoul, Korea but to far too walk and too far to hitchhike. we stayed their for an indeterminate amount of time and then back to Denver. only Denver closed the south runways and so we had to go an additional 25 minutes to the north. mine and j’s 2 hr layover turned into 20 minutes by the time we landed. 9 minutes by the time we got off the plane. our connecting flight was 60 gates down and we had 9 minutes. ready. go!

somehow we made it and to save super ad nauseum let’s just say the second flight didn’t go smoothly either. as luck would have it, overwrought travelers do not appreciate my sense of humor, I wanted to cut the flight attendant, and my children were complete angels. at that point in the day, though, I wouldn’t have cared if jack had been juggling people’s luggage full of breakables, while screaming, and running up and down the aisles just so he could kick sleeping people in the shins. I would have probably just smiled and said “that’s nice honey…why don’t you go ride the beverage cart and tamper with the smoke detectors”

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