5 lb sack

what do you wear to church when your pre-baby 2 clothes are 20lbs too big and your pre-baby 1 clothes are 5 pounds too small? you wear a dress that requires your husband to zip you up with the help of a little crisco on the zipper and a favor from the Lord himself.

actually the dress fit ok except for the boobs. Clara had a growth spurt last week, so I’m pretty much on jugs 3/4 full no matter how long ago Clara just ate. in case you were wondering what happens when you stuff 2 10lb potatoes in a 5lb sack…let me enlighten you. the result? one big 20lb potato and fabric that whimpers for mercy. in other words, I had one mean uniboob, crying fabric, and no hope of being able to discreetly feed C in church.

my complete disregard for my diaper bag PMCS left me at church w/ no way to feed my daughter and no bottle. about 2 minutes after we got to church J also started screeching so he had to head on down to nursery town. our church doesn’t have an overflow room, so w/ j downstairs and me in the fellowship hall feeding Clara w/o being able to hear the sermon, we decided it was best to go. we turned around and explained to the people behind us that we had to go. I don’t know why we did that. it’s not like Methodist require “get out of the service free” cards. I guess it was the guilty catholic mindset just creeping it’s way out from behind the pagan curtains.

anyway, it was a good weekend. yesterday I got to spend a whole…wait for it… 2 hours out shopping by myself. I used up some of my birthday money on a griddle and a new microfiber dusting wand. do I know how to have a good time or what?


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Kari
    Aug 08, 2011 @ 08:22:57

    HAHAHAHA….sorry I don’t mean to laugh at your expense but I know that feeling well. What’s worse in is when you are done nursing and your boobs look “deflated” in all your pre-baby clothing. And no guilt required, I am Methodist, and have been a complete heathen for the last two years…no church since DH deployed leaving me with mini-midgets then we PCSd. Sigh.


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