soccer practice.

j man had his first soccer practice this week.  everytime i say soccer practice i think of this VIRAL video from my west point days:

that’s NOT a video you want to mentally link to your son in ANY WAY.  sweet jeebus help me.  it is truly hilarious though. 

ok, enough of the gay pimp.  jerbear was so darn adorable at soccer i could have died.  although, i think it was a better workout for me than him a million times over.  running after a toddler is hardwork.  the coach was so good with them that i forgave him for kicking the soccer ball that hit me square in the head.  the funniest part of the whole day was when the kiddos were doing the “obstacle course” and j man climbed into the tunnel and refused to come out. 

if you are wondering how i got him out– i had to crawl in after him.  and no, that tunnel isn’t mommy sized.  the parents behind me were snickering, but whatever.  me and my big ole badonkadonk had to do what we had to do to get him out.  once he realized that you could crawl all the way through the tunnel, he went through it approximately 10 more times.  

the kids also played red light/green light.  the toddlers understood the game much better than i thought they would.   one little fella didn’t catch on right away and he and i had a rear end collision.  literally, he ran into my rear end when i red lighted with jer.  i don’t think he hurt himself on my bumper (after all it has more padding than your standard camry or h2).  he also managed to maintain his footing after the collision which was nothing short of miraculous.  he was short though.

clara has been quite the sport lately.  we have been dragging her and her bedazzled O2 bag all over colorado springs to go to stuff with her brother.  luckily, she can sleep almost anywhere and i always have her food with me.  

speaking of other things we did this week… monday grandma drew, j, c, and i all walked to the park.  the park seems like it’s pretty close to our house until you start walking there.  it was easily a mile and half away– all uphill, of course.  uphill both ways.   i made the mistake of going down the big slide with j a little while after we got there.  let me tell you that the big slide is NOT designed for mommies.  i thought several times (when my leg was contorted in truly unnatural ways) that my leg would snap right off.   the little guy would just laugh and laugh and laugh when going down the slide though so we did it over and over.   it was worth it to me to lose a leg for that laugh.  if you are  mom, you know what i mean.

tuesday we went to “toddler time” at the local library.  j had a ton of fun.  we will definitely be going back.

wednesday we met up with a local moms group at a park downtown.  the park is called “america the beautiful” park and jerry and i always make fun of it because from the interstate it looks like a real craphole.  it is actually quite beautiful when you get there and they have a HUGE fountain that the kids can play in.  j wouldn’t hardly eat his lunch for trying to get to the fountain to play.  of course as soon as we got to the fountain the ymca unleased the 100+ kids that they brought on a field trip.  they had a bunch of wild 10 and unders wielding water guns and running around like little wet tazmanian devils.  me, being the genius that i am, wore white because i didn’t want to be too hot in the sun.  this plan worked perfectly until some little mini unibomber looked me square in the eye and squirted the entire contents of his watergun onto my shirt.  at first i was like WTH? and then i figured that he and his dad probably had a conversation over their hamburger helper that went something like this…”im going to a wet t-shirt contest tonight so you are on your own on mario cart tonight. huh huh huh.”   “whats a wet t-shirt contest dad?”  “well, son whens gurls have on a white t-shirt and you get them wet you can see their jugs and tictacs.  huh huh huh”   see?  i was a victim of a shameless tictac-ing.  thankfully the ymca kiddos were only their about 45 minutes before the staffers wrangled them and the fountain went back to a 3 on the pandoras box scale of crazy.

anyway, sister is done feeding and i need to go hug and kiss on my little 17 month old rugrat.


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